Personal development is one of the tedious skill to learn because it requires a drastic change of ourselves.We primary grow as human beings by discovering new truths about ourselves and our reality. Genuine personal growth is honest growth. You can’t take shortcuts through the land of make-believe.Your first commitment is to discover and accept the hard truth about yourself, matter how difficult or unpleasant the consequences maybe. You can’t solve problems if you deny the existence of it.
When you deny your problems, you turn away from truth. The more lies you tell yourself spawn more lies, conditioning your mind with falsehoods that weave themselves into your identity. You became disconnected from your true self. You aren’t here to endure such an existence but to learn how to create a life of your own choosing. I can’t help you in creating your life but I will share with you the habits that I used for the past few years to change myself. I will reveal the 10 hard truths to personal development.
Perception is the basic aspect of truth. If you want to improve some part of your life, you have to look at it first. For example, if you want to know how your relationship is doing, ask yourself: How do I feel about this relationship? What parts are working well and which part needs amendments? Ask your partner the same questions and compare your answers.
Perception is key component to personal growth because we react to what we perceive to be true.Facing the truth of your situation causes you to trigger new desires. When you step on the scale and see that you weigh more than you like, you will think, I want to lose weight. When you get clear about what you don’t want, you will gain clarity about what you do want. These new desires can help drive you in a positive new direction, but nothing will change until you first admit that you would like to.
Once you have identified what’s true for you with a reasonable degree of accuracy. Your next task is to fully and completely accept the truth. Consider your physical body. Is it healthy,fit, and strong? Or is it unhealthy,flabby and weak? What do you predict will happen if you continue this and where will you likely end up? Are you willing to live with those consequences? What about your finances? Are you creating such an abundance of value that you will never know scarcity? Or are you headed for poorhouse? Do you accept the complete truth of your situation? Most people in this world don’t dare to face the reality, they tried to escape the problems by soaking themselves heavily in their work, hoping there is a change in it.
Whenever you are faced with a part of reality you don’t like and you feel powerless to change it. the first step is to accept the truth of your situation and say to yourself: This situation is wrong for me, yet I lack the strength to change it now. Openly admit to yourself even though you are stuck with complete responsibility for every area of your life, you may not have the ability to fix what isn’t working at this point.
Accept that this is how things are for now, but don’t deny the truth of the situation. Never pretend to enjoy a job u hate, never pretend to be happy in an unfufilling relationship. Never pretend your finances are strong when you are just barely to feed yourself and your family. If you want your situation to improve, you must first come clean with yourself and accept the whole truth. When you accept reality, you will make better decisions because they are based on truth instead of fiction. If you admit that your body is out of shape, you will stop pretending that you are in good health. You will stop subscribing to the delusion that your poor eating habits and lack of exercise are acceptance to you. Once you fully surrender to what is, you can begin to create what you want.
Perception is the key component to personal development because we react to what we perceive to be true. Facing the truth of your situation causes you to trigger new desires. When you step on the scale and see that you weigh more than you like. You think, I want to lose weight. When you get clear about what you don’t want. You gain clarity about what you do want. These new desires can help you to trigger your drive in a positive new direction, but nothing will change until you first admit that you would like it to.
It’s easy for me to say that you should face about your truth, but in practice this can be a tedious goal to do. It’s hard to admit that you are dissatisfied with your relationship. It’s hard to admit that you make a wrong career choice. It’s hard to look at the mirror and realize you don’t like the person you have become. But despite how difficult it is, it’s still necessary if you want to become better. Open your eyes, look around you and notice what you like and dislike about your life. Don’t worry about setting specific goals until you have come clear to yourself and how you react to those perceptions.
Prediction is the mechanism by which you learn from experience, thereby enabling you to discover what’s true. As you observe any new event, one of two things can happen; either the experience meet your expectations, your mental model remain intact but if the experience violates your expectation, your mind must update its model of reality to fit the new information. This is how you learn from experience and discover new truths.
Your predictive powers are extremely flexible. When you learn something new, your mind tries to generalize from the experience. For example, you can understand written-language, but you don’t recall when and where you learned each word. You know what certain foods taste like, but you don’t remember every single meal.
Listen to your honest expectations. Don’t fight with them or try to deny them, since that will only drive you into self-doubt. Learn to accept your expectations and work with them. When you notice that you are anticipating a negative outcome, look behind those beliefs to find the cause, and keep making changes until your expectations change. When you uncover positive expectations, notice what’s working for you and keep doing more of it.
The closer your inner mind model of reality matches actual reality, the more capable you become. Greater accuracy means greater fitness for life as a human being. With an accurate map, you are more likely to make sound decisions that will take you in the direction of your desires. With an inaccurate map, you are more likely to experience setbacks and frustrations.
Total clarity is very rare. When you pursue a particular career, you will never know if a different one might turned out better. When you are in a relationship, you can never be certain that a more compatible partner isn’t right around the corner. Whatever you make one decision, you will never know what would have happened if you make a different choice.
The worst part is that even when you do feel certain, that’s still no guarantee you are correct. You can try to gain as much clarity as possible about a given situation but you can never eliminate all uncertainty. When you accept the uncertainty of life, your decisions will increase in accuracy, you will find it easier to avoid mistakes like gambling away all of your money or falling into abusive relationship, and you will be better position to capitalize on genuine opportunities
The key is to intelligently manage risks instead of denying their existence. Learn to thrive on uncertainty and even enjoy it. Some inaccuracies will self-correct as you gain additional experience and deepen your understanding of reality. but many times those errors can worsen and become self-reinforcing. Here are some of the examples of how your mind’s predictive powers can fail you.
self fulfilling prophecy – A number of your friends try to start their online business, but they all fail and eventually give up. From their example, your mind learns that starting an online business is difficult and will most likely lead to failure. A year later you decide to launch your own online enterprise. You subconsciously sabotage yourself by making avoidable mistakes, and eventually you give up just as your friends did due to the harboring of negative expectations.
As you strive to bring more truth into your life, you must cultivate a high degree of self-awareness. This includes becoming aware of your strengths, weaknesses, talents,knowledge,biases,attachments,desires,emotions,instincts, habits and state of mind. As human beings, we are often filled with conflicting desires. One part of us want to be healthy, happy and highly conscious. Another part wants nothing more than to eat, sleep, have sex and be lazy. Without the presence of consciousness, we fall into reflexive patterns by default, living more like unconscious animals than fully sentient human beings.
When you make decisions from a certain state of mind and act upon them, you reinforce that same state. For example, if you act out of anger, you will strengthen your mind’s anger response. If you act out of kindness, you will reinforce the kind response of your mind. Any given level of awareness has a tendency to perpetuate itself, so you will likely to find yourself cycling through the same ones repeatedly.
Self awareness is truth-awareness. When your awareness is high, you are closer to truth than when your awareness is low.If you aren’t aligned with truth, your decisions will produce inferior results. Truth aligned decisions are more accurate and tend to yield better results than those made from low awareness. The key is to use your self awareness to recognize when you are aligned with truth and when you aren’t and strive to make your important decisions only when this core principle is on your side.
Media companies generate profits largely from advertising, and for advertising to be effective, you must eventually buy something whether it be a car, supplements, or a meal. People who hold an accurate model of reality only buy what they actually want or need, so advertisers frequently promote half-truths to boost profits.In order to fully trust the information provided by a media source, you must be able to trust that the source will not sacrifice truth to a conflicting value. The problem with corporate-owned media is that when there’s a conflict between profit and truth,truth doesn’t always win.
The cumulative effect of mass-media exposure is to condition you to adopt a false view of reality. The more you expose yourself to mainstream media such as television, the more skewed your mental model of reality becomes. Furthermore, the more time spent in media consumption, the lesser time spent in direct experience. This is a path of long term laziness,apathy and decay, not self actualization. You can reduce the effect by learning to find joy in the direct experience of life instead of the pale substitute of mass media.
Social conditioning is a close cousin of media conditioning. The society in which you live- including your family,friends, colleagues and acquaintance. It contributes heavily to your understanding of reality. Through your interaction with others, you are continually influenced by social,cultural,educational and religious ideas. Such conditioned beliefs often place other values ahead of truth, so you may feel compelled to do the same. In the long run, this disconnection from truth leads to self doubt, causing you to give in to weakness and confusion.
I have learnt that self trust is more important than social conformity. My intent isn’t to condemn any belief system but to simply recommend you to put your greatest trust in your own judgement, even when others disagree with you. [quote]Cultivating your trust frees you;self doubt enslaves you.[/quote]
9. False Beliefs
False learning occurs when you adopt a belief that’s either partially or completely untrue. Such beliefs may be acquired accidentally or installed deliberately by others. A large part of conscious growth involves identifying and purging false beliefs. Do your best to remain open to new ideas and challenge your assumptions when you suspect you may be clinging to falsehood.
10. Emotional Obstruction
Strong emotions can corrupt your ability to perceive reality accuracy. Feelings such as fear,anger,grief,shame,frustration and loneliness block you from thinking clearly,causing you to mistake falsehood for truth. Similarly, positive emotions can make you overly optimistic, encouraging you to take unreasonable risks and to make overaggressive promises you won’t keep.
Important decisions should be made when you are clearheaded and rational, not when you are overly optimistic or pessimistic. Think of your emotions as your mind’s predictive output so that it’s wise to make decisions that produce positive feelings.