You may have heard of the saying opposites attract. Now this saying holds some degree of truth after all the opposite sides of a magnet tend to attract while the same sides repel; and we may all love to fall in love with someone completely different to ourselves. However, this rule may not apply when we think of choosing friends, acquaintances and generally people who we spent time with. This article will discuss why it is not likely that optimists will choose pessimists (or those with a negative outlook in life) to be friends.
Generally optimists are ambitious, enthusiastic, goal-oriented and generally successful. On the other hand, pessimists are detached from reality and tend to have a negative outlook towards life. Optimism is an overwhelmingly positive state of mind, while pessimism is a negative state; therefore, the two types of personalities (that of the optimist and pessimist) do not mix well.
- Birds of afeather flock together: The saying birds of a feather flock together signifies the belief you will most likely find friends and acquaintances who are similar to you. Going by this saying optimists will always make friends with positive-minded people and people of a negative disposition will always choose similar people to spend time with. The reason for this is simple – like-minded people have common interests, outlooks and beliefs. So an optimistic person will choose another positive person because they both have a ‘can do’ attitude, a sunny outlook to life and concentrate on finding solutions rather than mulling on the problems around them. On the other hand, pessimistic people will dwell on negativity and ‘the glass is half empty approach’ so in a sense it is natural that they band together.
- Life is short and precious: It is presumptuous to assume that optimistic people view the world through rose-tinted glasses. An optimistic person should not be confused with an idealist. An optimistic person is a realist but one who has a positive view of life, understands the options that are available to them and gets the big picture. They now that they have a short and precious life and in a limited amount of time they need to fulfill their goals. In order to attain their dreams and goals they require an positive environment and like-minded people.
- Creative and positive energy flowing: Creative and positive energy is required in abundance for leading a happy and successful life. In order to have creative and positive energy flowing through your life there needs to be a wholesome outlook to life. A wholesome outlook to life is only possible where you are physically, emotionally and mentally healthy and this is possible only with an optimistic state of mind. This state can only be achieved if optimists remain in the company of like-minded people and avoid pessimists.
- Pessimists are a source of failure: Generally, pessimists have a grim outlook towards life, this may be because of the hand life has dealt them or simply because they have a glass half empty approach towards life. They tend to believe that fate has given them a rough hand and this makes them feel low, depressed and perhaps makes them give up on life. It is important for optimists to realize that having pessimists as friends will bring them unhappiness and prevent them from achieving what they want.
- The ability to love and respect yourself: An important secret of being an optimist is the ability to love and respect yourself and to be able to see the good in yourself. This doesn’t mean that you over-estimate yourself, rather it is the ability to see the best in yourself and to build on that. An optimist is someone who will look after their physical, mental and emotional being. An optimist will spend a fair amount of time nurturing themselves to be healthy, happy and productive. For this very reason an optimist is not likely to befriend a pessimist who has little love and respect for themselves. An optimist would be naturally drawn to people similar to themselves – who value themselves and others around them.
- Acceptance of life with its ups and downs: As mentioned before, rather than being an idealist an optimist is someone who is able to view life realistically. An optimist is someone who recognizes the different options that life offers them and how to make the most of what they have. Above all an optimist is someone who knows that life does not always remain on an even keel. An optimist is someone who can live through the ups and downs and remain happy and above all keep trying to do well for themselves. A pessimist is someone who loses their fighting spirit as soon as a bad thing happens to them. Rather than fighting the bad or persevering through a difficult period a pessimist will believe that this is what fate dealt them and will give up.
- Keeping this big picture in mind: An optimist will see the bigger picture of life and realize that it is important to go through life learning from your mistakes, enjoying each day as it comes and appreciating what you have even during difficult times in your life. Furthermore, it is important not to give up on your dreams and goals and keep persevering until you finally get what you want. An optimist through keeping the big picture in mind will make sure that they are not depressed by set backs. On the other hand, pessimists will think that one failure sets the stage for future failures. to learn from past mistakes and their ability to make the same mistakes again and again makes them pessimistic.
- Optimists don’t equate happiness with achievements. In addition to riding out the highs and lows in life and being able to figure out the bigger picture there is one more quality which separates the optimists from the pessimists – optimists simply don’t equate being happy with their achievements. Don’t get me wrong they may be very happy because they achieve what they hope to but even without these achievements they have the ability to remain happy. In a sense, its a case of optimists giving themselves permission to be happy even when life is not a ‘success’ for them. Their happiness is not tied down to other people recognizing their success.